T.I.M.E to Grieve: Time Alone Doesn’t Heal

Written By Cam Taylor

Welcome to this new format for my weekly update. I’m calling it: T.I.M.E. to Grieve.

Each week, I pick a theme, share an idea on that theme, reflect on the deeper meaning, and give an exercise to help put it into practice. I trust you find it helpful for yourself or for a grieving person you are walking beside.

THEME

Time alone doesn’t heal but paired with connection and healthy input can.

IDEA

It’s been said that time heals all wounds. The truth is that time alone does not guarantee healing will occur. It merely passes. It is what we do during the passing of time that helps or hinders the healing process. — Jay Marshall

MEANING

There are two Greek words for time. One is chronos time which is measured or counted time. It’s the kind of time that doesn’t heal all wounds.

The other word for time is kairos time. It’s time that is lived, reflected on and experienced. It’s time that is experienced as you stop to reflect, sit with your sadness, let words of wisdom wash over you, or tell your story in an unmeasured way to an empathetic friend.

When we use our time to reflect on our life, on our losses, on the feelings that envelop us, we are able to — eventually — see movement and shifts in our internal world.

Let me share some of the kairos time processing in my journal on May 29, 2020 (15 days after my wife Vicky died).

Today I don’t feel much. Yesterday my grief was forced. Part of me wants to just do my own thing and grieve alone yet I know that’s not best…Today I make a choice: I’m going to live today as though it were my last. What does that look like? Laugh. Love. Cry. Learn. Teach. Write. Read. Connect.

Today I’m learning about the word: STILL. In Hebrew it means: “To let go, to relax, to release — to actively and purposefully let go of your expectations. And to have expectancy for God to meet you in the chaos.

EXERCISE

  • What has happened in your life (a loss, a hurt, a storm) that needs some kairos time?

  • Who can walk with you on that journey and hold space for the kind of time that will heal?

Cam Taylor
Next

T.I.M.E to Grieve: Grief is Messy Not Linear