T.I.M.E to Grieve: How to Avoid Getting Stuck While Grieving
Welcome to my weekly update I’m calling T.I.M.E. to Grieve.
Each week, I pick a theme, share an idea on that theme, reflect on the deeper meaning, and give an exercise to help put it into practice. I trust you find it helpful for yourself or for a grieving person you are walking beside.
THEME
Avoid standing still for too long while grieving or you’ll get stuck.
IDEA
If you stand still long enough, you'll get stuck. — David Hasselhoff
Discovering that there are plenty of others like us has made me feel less as if we’re unfeeling or freakish. Reading accounts of resilient grievers who have continued to suffer negative emotions, misery, and longing for their loved ones, but done so while carrying on with full and rewarding lives, somehow makes it feel more okay to act this way. — Lucy Hone, Resilient Grieving
Ain't no shame in holding on to grief... as long as you make room for other things too. — "Bubbles," The Wire
MEANING
When grieving, one of the challenges you might face is the sinking feeling that you are stuck in your grief. I had that feeling from time to time while grieving but thankfully I found guidance that helped me carry on with life while navigating the feeling of being stuck.
When you read Lucy Hone’s quote, it reminds us that we can suffer from negative emotions, long for our loves ones, while at the same time, learn how to live again. When we hold those two contrasting realities, we avoid getting stuck.
There is no secret formula for avoiding stuck but there are some ways to think and act that can help us keep moving with on your grief journey.
I want to give you five ideas to help you avoid getting stuck and aid you in both holding your grief and making room to live.
Accept where you are and don’t wish you were somewhere else.
Stop wishing you had someone else’s life.
Write down five things you are grateful for every day
Call that friend you know will listen to your story one more time
Write out an inspiring quote on a 3 X 5 card and carry it with you throughout the day.
EXERCISE
Choose one of ideas off the list and put it into practice today.
Why is it important for you to avoid getting stuck?
What else have you found helpful to keep moving with your grief?
