When faced with setbacks and mountains you need to climb, why is it important to not give up? Why does it matter that you bounce back from adversity and not let your challenges steal your joy and defeat you?

Five reasons come to mind for me:

I want to be an example of grit and perseverance
I want to leave a lasting and positive legacy
I want to be a light to those challenged by darkness
I want to feel alive and not numb to life
I want to stem the tide of discouragement and despair from spreading any further

The quality I admire in others and want to continue developing in myself? Resiliency

What is resiliency?

The dictionary defines it as: “The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness…the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.”

Let me add one more description of my own: “Resiliency is the ability to bounce forward when there’s no back to go to.”

I’ve had a few major set backs in my life. My life altering motorcycle accident in 2011. The loss of my wife Vicky in 2020. The loss of other family members and friends.

In some cases, the events left me with no back to go to so I had to figure out what does bouncing forward look like. During those seasons when I was tested the most, I had the opportunity to strengthen and grow in resiliency.

What I learned was that I could choose to grow in my RQ [Resiliency Quotient].

What’s Your RQ?

What’s your Resiliency Quotient? How well equipped are you to bounce forward when faced with setbacks, losses and overwhelming circumstances (like right now perhaps)?

The higher your RQ is, the greater your ability will be to grow stronger when met with loss and adversity.

Here’s an informal way to assess your RQ. But an imaginary “X” on the line closest to the word that describes your response to a current challenge or your most recent setback.

closed minded ———————————————— teachable

a victim ———————————————— responsible

isolated ———————————— connected

aimless ——————————— purposeful

reactive ——————————— responsive

rigid ——————————— flexible

pessimistic ———————————— optimistic

numb ———————————— a feeler

timid ———————————— bold

How did you do?

The more “X’s” you have on the right side of the spectrum, the stronger your resiliency muscle is. The proof comes not just in your words and mindset but in the actions you take as well.

My daily aim is to continue putting a resiliency mindset into action.

It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop. ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Three Actions That will Build Resiliency

1. Live on purpose

Look around for ways to serve others, use your talent with the world, give the comfort you’ve received and give it to others.

If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces. ― Shane Koyczan

2. Say thanks

Gratitude changes the chemistry of your brain and helps with the healing process that follows the hurts and painful parts of our lives. Gratitude gets you looking outward instead of at your own pain and sorrow. Gratitude creates positive emotion and reminds you of what you have left, not just on what you’ve lost.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. — Anonymous

3. Be a friend

When hurting and trying to pick up the pieces after a setback, loss or adversity it’s easy to shut people out. Instead, let people in and as you connect with empathetic people, you will find strength to go on.

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. ― Elizabeth Edwards

Final Thought

What can you do today to strengthen your RQ?
Who can walk with you so you won’t try and do life alone?

Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life. ― J.K. Rowling

Three Actions to Help Build Resiliency