Learn to Live With Purpose: Resiliency Habit #5
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. — Friedrich Nietzsche
This is the fifth habit in a series on resiliency habits that will help carry you when the going is hard due to loss or setbacks that come to us.
In case you missed the previous habits, here they are.
Resiliency Habit #1: Adopt a Growth Mindset
Resiliency Habit #2: Practice Gratitude
Resiliency Habit #3: Temper Your Optimism
Resiliency Habit #4: Normalize Suffering
Now let’s turn to habit number five — learn to live with purpose.
The Dictionary Defines Purpose
The dictionary defines purpose this way:
to propose as an aim to oneself; an intention
a reason for doing something
Often when we think of purpose we think of something grand and lofty. It can be that but this article is not that. I want you to think of purpose as something smaller and accessible especially when you are in the middle of a storm or emotional turmoil.
How I Found Purpose in My Struggle
At one point in my life, I lost my sense of purpose. It was after my fourth surgery following my motorcycle accident. I came home with no clear plan for when I’d walk again or get through what I was going through. Recovery? Not idea exactly what that meant.
I felt sorry for myself while I sat on that recliner and was struggling to find any meaning to life. Sure, what had happened to me was no fault of my own but knowing that didn’t help.
I needed to find an aim how I would spend my long and difficult days.
Eventually, I found a sense of purpose by finding some tangible actions I could take to gave me the meaning I was sadly lacking.
The form my purpose took was in what I said to others (eg. words of encouragement and gratitude); what I thought about (eg. Books I read, content I consumed); the people I learned from (eg. Reading stories of people who had endured difficult circumstances).
I remember taking a 3 X 5 card and writing down the aims and intentions for that one day. Once they were written down, I would focus on that. It gave me purpose and an aim I could control.
A Sample List of Some Ways to Find an Aim or Purpose
What gives a sense of meaning and purpose will vary from person to person. What I offer you here are some categories that might help give you tangible ways to plan your day with purpose.
1. Find purpose by doing tasks that matter
Find tasks that feed you versus tasks that drain you or affect you negatively. Doom scrolling will drain you while going outside and taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the day will feed you.
2. Find purpose by having conversations that encourage
Community that encourages you is essential for living on purpose. Be intentional about finding and spending time with what I call “empathetic witnesses.” They are people who support you regardless of how you’re feeling and aren’t quick to give advice or change the subject.
3. Find purpose by opening up your mind to life giving inputs
Life giving inputs could include movies, podcasts, music, or stories. When you are suffering in your grief or because of a setback, it’s important to be intentional about process what you’re feeling. Take time to put into your mind the inputs that will help you feel, and as a result, heal.
4. Find purpose by planning activities that give a sense of well-being and progress
There are so many activities that will bring a sense of well-being. The key is find the ones that you can aim at that will lift your mood, and help to heal your soul. It could be a walk in nature, a bike ride, a session to cook your favorite desert, or time spent cleaning out a closet.
Final Thoughts
Finding purpose is all about finding an aim or intention that helps you take steps in a forward direction. How we spend our days will affect how you end up living your life.
People do not wander around and then find themselves at the top of Mount Everest. — Zig Ziglar
On a scale of 1 to 10, how purposeful are your days?
What can you do to live with intention and aims that give meaning this week?
Check out my new book:
Unlocking the Mystery of Grief
