Mourning the Loss of Someone Who Was Loved

Today I’m sending you something a little different.

I facilitated a memorial service this week with a room full of grieving people. I’m not sharing details of the people involved - only the words I shared.

Some of what I said comes from a faith perspective with the awareness that the room was filled with people from all backgrounds.

Why share these words with you? My purpose in writing this is to invite you to connect these words with your grief or find support as you look for what to say to those in your life who is grieving.

My words shared at a gathering to remember...

I’m honored to be here today to help us remember [name] life and be comforted in his death. At times like this, we are reminded of how precious life is and how important it is to live each day to the fullest since we don’t know which day will be our last.

May we find strength and support as we hear stories, share memories, receive comfort, offer prayers, and find comfort from God. Let me offer a prayer:

“Loving Father, as we gather here together, it is with heavy hearts because one of our own is no longer with us. Comfort us today, Lord, as only you can. We are thankful for the life you give us. For family, for friendship, for the chance we have to live and love and learn as we go through life. Be a present help in this time of trouble. Be a Shepherd for us as we walk through the valley of death and feel the pain of loss. Hold us close and help us to grieve as we tell stories, hear memories, offer prayers, and spend these moments together. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.”

Three Thoughts

1. Hold tight to your memories

We no longer have a physical relationship with the one who is now gone. What we do have is a relationship of memory. Let’s hold tight to the memories.

You have heard stories, seen pictures, remember the life and love you had. Hold those memories tight as you grieve and mourn today.

2. Embrace your grief as the pathway forward

Losing those we love brings on so much pain and grief. You’ve maybe heard the saying, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Is there an alternative to grief? Not unless you are prepared to never love but that will rob you of the ability to truly live.

You will grieve because you have chosen to love. Since that’s the case, let yourself grieve deeply. Whatever you are experiencing as you grieve, it’s OK. The pathway to healing is through your grief.

3. Consider a higher power for extra strength

As a person of faith, I believe God comes close to the broken-hearted. Regardless of what you believe, may you find comfort and support from your higher power today.

There is a chapter in the Bible that is often read at times like this. These words were written by David who grew up a shepherd but eventually became a king. Even if you aren’t a person of faith, I hope you can receive some peace from these words in your time of grief.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” [the words of David found in Psalms 23].

Final Thoughts

Thanks for being here today. For sharing in these moments of remembrance. May you go from here with peace in your heart, cherished memories in your mind, and the realization that you are not alone.

Let me close with this Irish Blessing:

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

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Let me know what landed for you as you read these words. Did you find strength for yourself in your grief? What might you be able to share with someone in your life who is dealing with a loss?